


In the Name of Loader Bot

by lucyrne (theungenue)



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Anxiety, Cameos, Comedy, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Impending Fatherhood is Stressful, Parenthood, Post-Canon, Pregnancy, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 02:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12049611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theungenue/pseuds/lucyrne
Summary: “I will name my firstborn...Loader Bot! Probably not.” On a whim, Rhys decides to keep that promise. But making (and defending) that decision forces Rhys to consider his journey since landing on Pandora...and whether he ought to leave it behind.





	In the Name of Loader Bot

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading about my very niche headcanon that Rhys follows through with his promise to name his firstborn after Loader Bot. This fic definitely went places I didn't expect, but I hope y'all enjoy :D

Naming your first kid was a helluva lot easier when every asshole you knew wasn’t trying to give you their opinion on it. Rhys found out the hard way.

Of course, Rhys didn’t know what he was getting into when he first broached the subject with Sasha.

“What if we named it Loader Bot?” Rhys said.

“Why are we renaming Loader Bot?” Sasha asked, not looking up from the gun balanced on the swell of her belly. She sat slumped in an armchair in the caravan, wiping down the barrel of a vintage Atlas firearm Fiona had found for her. She often used her pregnant belly as a convenient surface to hold things. Rhys never commented on it because he wasn’t sure if that sort of behavior was weird or not.

Rhys perched on the arm of Sasha’ chair. “We’re not. I meant, what if we named _the baby_ after Loader Bot?”

She blinked, and then looked up at him, incredulous. “Um, our baby?”

“Yeah, our baby.” Saying that out loud made Rhys smile, even though he didn’t mean to. Sometimes he couldn’t even believe that he and Sasha were having a baby together. It felt so surreal.

Sasha bit her lip and thought for a moment. “I dunno. I haven’t really thought about names. I’ve been more focused on getting to the birth part.”

Rhys nodded, his smile melting away. “Yeah. Same.”

Sasha was 22 weeks along, but it felt far longer. Rhys documented and monitored the pregnancy’s development with obsessive precision. When they first found out Sasha was pregnant, he didn’t know anything about prenatal health, or parenthood for that matter. But Rhys did know that survival on Pandora was a tall order no matter your pregnancy status, so he made it his business to learn everything he could.

Not that knowledge made pregnancy any less dangerous. The thought that things might go south at any point, even after the birth, was a grim specter that floated in the background of every conversation.

“Okay, so why exactly would you name our baby after Loader Bot?” Sasha asked. “I’m really trying to wrap my head around this one. Did you lose a bet?”

“No.” Rhys slid off the chair and knelt down to Sasha’s level. Noticing that the barrel of Sasha’s rifle was pointing in his direction, he gently pushed it to the side. “I might have vowed to name my firstborn after Loader Bot before I met you,” he began. “Because I had ordered him to, ahem, explode himself to save my ass. Back when I used to be a soulless corporate douche.”

“Used to be?”

“Yes, thank you for that. Back then I didn’t think I’d actually do it, but the more I _think_ about it...” Rhys lost grip on where this was going, and let his words trail off into nothing. His reason was more complicated than feeling guilty about his past behavior towards Loader Bot. He just didn’t know how to express it right.

But his half-explanation was enough to satisfy Sasha. For now. “How about I think about it for...three months?” she said. “That’s when the baby’s coming, right? I’ll definitely let you know by then.” Sasha started to wipe down the rifle again, but now her expression was far away.

* * *

 

A week later, Rhys was sequestered in his office, frowning over a progress report for his newest project when the door burst open. He heard Yvette--his right-hand gal at the newly resurrected Atlas--cry out in protest.

“He’s busy. He can’t see you right now. I can make you an appointment--”

A low voice that sounded the exact way smirk looked answered, “Damn right, he’ll see me.”

Fiona slammed the door behind her, shutting Yvette out. She strolled forward as if she owned the place, glancing at the small decor Rhys had salvaged from the Helios ruins with derision. While it was true that Rhys’ office was far smaller and less impressive than any on Helios, it did afford him some level of confidence. This was his domain, his turf. Fiona couldn’t just waltz on in here--

And then Fiona walked right up, brushed his report onto the floor, and sat down on his desk. Rhys rolled his chair away to put some space between them.

“Loader Bot,” Fiona said, not an ounce of humor on her face.

“What about him?”

She rolled her eyes with a small shake of her head. “Don’t bullshit the professional bullshitter, Rhys. You know what I’m here to talk about.”

Sasha must’ve spoken to Fiona about his idea. He wondered what Sasha had said. Maybe she didn’t like the name after all, but it wouldn’t be like her to send Fiona to confront him about it. Fiona was there on her own behalf. Which meant Rhys could be a jerk without feeling all that guilty.

Rhys shrugged and flashed her the biggest, smarmiest ‘Never forget that I fucked your kid sister’ grin he could muster. “Not your baby, not your decision.”

Fiona used the toe of her boot to grab hold of Rhys’ chair and roll him closer. “Here’s the thing,” she said. “It’s not just your baby. I’m never having a kid. Vaughn’s taken a weird vow of celibacy. Sasha’s closing the baby factory after this one, and god _help you_ if you knock up somebody else, Hyperion. That means this is the only kid our little found family is going to have. And you want to name it _Loader Bot.”_

“What’s wrong with Loader Bot?”

She leaned away from him to count on her fingers. “It’s not a people name. No one’s gonna know how to spell it. Everyone will comment on it for the poor kid’s entire life. Oh, and your child will be viciously picked on and never make any friends.”

“Please. Any child of mine will be too attractive and smart to be unpopular,” Rhys said. After a brief pause, he added, “And any child of Sasha’s will be too _scary_ to bully.” The memory of Sasha suffocating a guard to unconsciousness all by herself came unbidden to Rhys. It was the first time he allowed himself to be impressed by these strange Pandoran people, but it certainly wasn’t the last.

“No,” Fiona said with an air of finality. “As the baby’s cool aunt, I refuse. I won’t let you ruin my baby sister’s baby’s life before it even starts. All because you feel guilty that you made Loader Bot self destruct _once._ ”

“What?” Now Rhys was beginning to feel truly attacked. “That’s not why! It’s more complicated--”

Fiona held up a hand as she interrupted him. “If you’re going to use your kid to right some past wrong or honor a friend, you should be naming it Scooter.” Rhys grimaced. “Or Fiona the Second.” He grimaced even harder.

She slid off his desk and straightened the cuff off her jacket sleeve. The same one that kept her derringer. “I didn’t think I’d have to exercise my cool aunt authority so soon,” Fiona said, turning to face Rhys. “But I’ll do what I have to do. Because this kid is going to have the best of everything. It’s going to be the happiest, safest, most loved baby that’s ever been born on this planet. Even if it means I have to punch its idiot dad in the face.”

Rhys felt a sudden surge of affection for Fiona. If anything happened to him or Sasha, he had complete faith that Fiona could step in as a pseudo-parental figure. Not in a mom or dad kind of way, but in a ‘I’ll teach you how to rob your enemies and kick their asses’ way. She’d keep the baby safe. She would protect it. She would make sure it was loved.

Rhys would never admit it to Fiona’s face, but it was hard to feel too angry at someone who loved his unborn baby almost as much as he did. The two of them truly had come a long way from fighting over fake vault keys and kicking dirt in each others’ mouths.

As Fiona exited his office, satisfied that she had said her piece, Rhys called after her, “But we’re still naming it Loader Bot! Probably.”

* * *

 

The desert buggy’s rickety suspension creaked and groaned as they cleared another sand dune. Rhys and Vaughn bounced in their seats when the buggy’s wheels touched back down to the ground, and sand sprayed behind them as Rhys’s foot pressed on the accelerator. The two best friends were on an errand, but already it felt more like an adventure.

They were headed to the biodome to visit Cassius, who concocted something that could help with Vaughn’s residual nerve damage. Rhys claimed that he needed to come with so he could check on his oldest employee, but really he wanted to see if Cassius had anything that could commandeered for Sasha. He was the CEO of Atlas, so why not? It wasn’t like he’d be using that technology for corporate evil. He was just enriching himself one (1) healthy infant. Cassius could spare some medical equipment for that.

The buggy had an intact windshield and roof, but no windows, so they let the wind rip through the car and cool their faces. It almost felt like real air conditioning.

“Remember when we first landed on Pandora? In Vasquez’s stolen car?” Vaughn asked. Thick pieces of his long hair escaped his bun and whipped behind him. Rhys’ hair remained gelled firmly in place, save for the two locks that curled over his forehead. “Driving like this reminds me of that. That feeling of freedom and kicking ass and having fun. Even though at that point we hadn’t actually done anything.”

Rhys threw his head back with a laugh. “We were innocent men back then, Vaughn,” he said. “We had no idea what we’re getting into.”

“No clue,” Vaughn agreed. “That first day was the longest of my life. So much shit happened to us.”

“Remember finding that gross food stand and asking the guy working it for directions?” Rhys asked. “And then he turned out to be a bandit?”

Vaughn’s eyes lit up. “I almost peed my pants when that happened. And that was before I was dragged outside of a moving car.”

“Like I said, innocent. That nightmare museum--remember that freakshow?”

“I try not to, but yeah! Remember Loader Bot landing and just straight up murdering all those bandits with a rocket launcher?” When Rhys didn’t answer right away, Vaughn continued, “It’s amazing, isn’t it? Back then Loader Bot was just a tool to us, and now he’s one of our best friends. I was an accountant no one really noticed, and now more than a hundred people depend on me. And you were basically sucking Henderson’s dick--”

“No I wasn’t,” Rhys blurted, ears turning red.

“--just to get a promotion. That was all you cared about for _years_. Entire years of your life, Rhys! Dedicated to that single goal, screwing over everyone who got in your way. And none of it matters anymore. Because now we live on Pandora, you’re the CEO of Atlas, and soon you’ll be a _dad_! Can you believe it?”

Rhys suddenly felt motion sick, not from the uneven rhythm of the buggy, but from the tumultuous path his entire life had taken in a couple short years. And the ride was only going to get bumpier, what with the baby coming in--Rhys did some mental math--12 to 14 weeks?

His Hyperion five-year plan predicted none of this. Hell, Rhys didn’t have a five-year plan anymore. Would he even be _alive_ in five years?

A fear that tasted of bile and smoke seized him. Rhys had no idea what he was doing. Not a fucking clue. This whole time he’d survived by the skin of his teeth. Making shit up as he went along. Eventually, his luck would run out and the overwhelming chaos that was Pandora would finally swallow him and everything he loved whole. The Helios crash didn’t do it, and Handsome Jack didn’t do it, but his number would be up someday. It was just a matter of when.

The two friends drove silently for a while, taking in Pandora’s stark landscape and never-ending horizon. A flock of raks flew in the distance, swooping down to their nests on red-brown cliffs. When the planet wasn’t doing its best to kill everyone on it, it could be truly beautiful. Serene even.

Vaughn finally spoke up. “Hey, Rhys? Are you really going to name your kid after Loader Bot?”

Rhys scowled at the road, his worries gone but not forgotten. “I guess Fiona’s been talking to you.”

“Yvette actually. It got around the Children of Helios pretty fast. I didn’t think you were serious when you made that promise on day one.”

“I wasn’t.” His hands tightened around the steering wheel. He wondered if the Old Rhys, the one that landed on Pandora and cared about nothing but getting promoted, would laugh at him for this. “It kind of grew on me. I don’t know. Sasha’s still thinking about it.”

“Does Loader Bot even know?”

“Nah. I’d hate to tell him how much everyone hates the idea.”

“I don’t hate it.”

Rhys tore his eyes from the road to look at Vaughn. “Really? You don’t care that it’s not a people name? Or that Fiona thinks it’s terrible?”

“Pssh, so? It’s not her baby.”

“That’s what I said!”

The crest of the biodome rose above the horizon. Squinting, Rhys could just make out the vague silhouettes of the tall trees and mushrooms inside. The feelings of fear he had been wrestling with ebbed away as he thought of more practical things. Things like revenue projections and baby formula. Stuff he had to worry about right now instead of thinking what would happen and what could have been.

Vaughn leaned back and closed his eyes. “Everything’s gonna turn out okay.”

Old Rhys would’ve ridiculed Vaughn’s optimism, but he just drove on.

* * *

 

“I’ve fixed this thing so much, I should just own it now,” Janey Springs joked and she rolled out from beneath the hood of the caravan.

Rhys forced himself to chuckle, because the Catch-A-Ride franchise and it’s de facto owner was an Atlas shareholder, so she kind of already did own the caravan.

Truth be told, Rhys didn’t understand Catch-A-Ride or its success on Pandora. It had dozens of stations across the planet and completely cornered the transportation market with absolutely zero seed money, no board of directors, and no tradeable shares. How Hyperion floated above Pandora for years without trying to wrestle control of this very obvious and profitable monopoly was beyond him. Rhys’ only theory was that someone had been sleeping with a Hyperion higher-up to keep their attention away, but he could only guess who that could be.

On some nights, Rhys could still see Scooter’s billboard floating in the Pandora atmosphere. The guy wasn’t exactly a business genius, but at least he understood the value of good marketing.

Wiping oil on the legs of her trousers, Janey moved across the garage. Athena appeared in the doorway, and they shared a long, gooey look before Janey retreated into the storeroom. The two had married a while ago. Did that mean Athena had some claim to Atlas too, thanks to some primitive Pandora marriage law? Rhys made a mental note to get his tiny, but mighty legal team to look into it.

Rhys and Sasha never got around to tying the knot. He knew they weren’t obligated to. He didn’t even care that much. But he wondered if he _should_ care, or if he _would’ve_ cared in different circumstances, and what that meant for the life he was building through trial and error.

Athena’s dry voice halted that worrisome train of the thought. “Loader Bot,” she stated.

 _Here we go again._ Rhys slowly turned to face Athena. “Yes, I want to name my firstborn Loader Bot. What’s it to you?”

“I’ve heard worse.”

“Oh.”

“Not much worse,” Athena added, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, “but I have heard them.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Janey walked into the room, carrying a large and complicated looking vehicle part on her shoulder. “Loader Bot is a nice name, for a girl. Or a cat.”

Rhys replied that their commentary was noted, though his tone betrayed how little he wanted to hear it. One of the perks of being a CEO was that people stopped telling you what to do. Apparently, that didn’t extend to parenthood.

Rhys was silently planning to slip away and hang out somewhere else when there was a loud knock at the garage door.

“That will be the others!” Janey said, placing the car part on the floor.

The garage door slid open with a roar, revealing two people Rhys had only ever heard of but never met--Mordecai and Brick.

From his understanding, the two vault hunters had once roughed up Athena and Fiona back at the biodome. Whatever went down, there obviously wasn’t any bad blood between them now. Athena greeted them briskly, which basically meant they were good friends.

His plans to leave were dashed when Janey pointed at him and exclaimed, “He’s going to name his baby after a robot!”

The vault hunters noticed him, and he froze. Rhys could count five or six different instruments of death strapped to each man’s body. He didn’t like the fact that Mordecai’s eyes were covered, making him a harder man to read, unpredictable. Brick was a mountain of muscle, so Rhys preferred not to look at him at all. In his experience, looking large Pandoran lifeforms in the eye too long made them want to tear his throat out.

They levied grim stares in his direction for a long minute before Mordecai broke into a lazy grin. “That’s badass, man,” Mordecai said. “What’s it gonna be, like, Bonecrusher? Bloodsport? Wreckingball?”

“Those are robot names?” Rhys asked, forgetting to be properly deferential in the face of something so stupid.

Mordecai shrugged. “Could be.”

“We’re thinking something more like Loader Bot.”

Brick laughed. It was a sound that came from deep in his belly and shook the entire room. “Oh, that’s great. That’s a good one. Like, ‘Get a Loader this Bot!’ HA!”

Mordecai snickered, “Load ‘em up the butt!”

“Loser Butt,” Athena chimed in with an even voice. The corner of her mouth pricked into a sly smile.

Roaring with laughter, Brick smacked Rhys on the back, knocking the wind out of him and nearly sending him to the floor. “That’s funny. That’s goddamn hilarious. I hope your kid has a high self esteem. They’re gonna need it!”

Fiona’s argument that the name Loader Bot would open the baby up to ridicule suddenly had more merit. Rhys escaped the Catch-a-Ride, feeling less sure of himself than ever.

* * *

 

Rhys expected many people to be against his choice of name, but he couldn’t have predicted Loader Bot himself.

“You _**must**_ change your mind.” Loader Bot throttled Rhys by the shoulders. Thanks to Jack’s old exoskeleton, Loader Bot had learned to gesture more with his hands while he spoke. But he didn’t understand when certain gestures were appropriate, and he definitely didn’t know his own strength. “I am unworthy. My name is not strong enough to bear the weight of your deeds and character. It cannot be allowed. I submit Gortys as a substitute.”

Gortys, rolling around near Rhys’ feet, released the cutest gasp he had ever heard. “Me? That’s so nice of you. I’m honored!”

The two robots had dropped in on Atlas HQ without warning. They had wandered the lobby, striking up conversation with random Atlas employees until Rhys had personally escorted them into his office, where they couldn’t cause any more trouble. It had seemed like a good opportunity to bring up the baby thing.

Rhys extricated himself from Loader Bot’s grip and rubbed his upper arm. Damn, that had really hurt. “But Loader Bot, I promised that I would name my firstborn after you,” he said.

“There’s no record of this vow in my memory banks.”

“Yeah, you weren’t there. You had just self-destructed because I ordered you to.”

“Oh.” Loader Bot considered this information for a moment. “I already ran my forgiveness protocols for that event. Your request is denied. I look forward to the birth of Flesh Gortys ”

The robot turned and trudged towards the door.

“Oooooooh,” Gortys said, rolling after him. “Flesh Gortys. Now that has a ring to it!”

Who knew when Rhys would have a chance to talk to Loader Bot again. The two robots did as they pleased these days, visiting whoever they wanted on a timetable no human understood. For all he knew, the baby would be born by the time they wandered back into Rhys’ life, and by then it would be too late.

He cut Loader Bot off at the door. There was no way he was going to let Loader Bot leave without saying his piece. “Loader Bot, buddy,” Rhys said. “This stuff you keep saying about my deeds and my, my _character,_ maybe that’s why I want to do this. Maybe my deeds haven’t been that good. Maybe my character sucks, too. Maybe I’m a dick, I’ve always been a dick, and I always will be a dick.”

Loader Bot’s single red eye stared down at him. “I don’t understand where this is going.”

“If you let me talk long enough, I’ll get there eventually. What I’m saying is, if your only hangup is that your name isn’t good enough for my kid, then we don’t actually have a problem. Come to think of it, my kid might not be good enough for your name!”

While computer programming was Rhys’ first love and greatest skill, sales was his second. Part of being a good salesman meant being able to read people and sense what you needed to say in order to get that precious ‘yes.’ He could practically see the electrons firing throughout Loader Bot’s CPU, mulling over what he had said and calculating a measured response.

“Is it your child who is not good enough, or is it _you_ who is not good enough?” Loader Bot asked.

Rhys stared, completely stumped.

“Denial retracted,” Loader Bot finally announced. “Your request is now...pending.”

The tension throughout Rhys’ entire body eased, but he didn’t feel his usual post-sale euphoria. As Loader Bot and Gortys took their leave, he only felt a looming dread.

More than once, Sasha had pointed out how salesmen and con artists weren’t that different. After all, both relied on saying the right thing to get the outcome you wanted. Rhys used to bristle at the suggestion. Selling wasn’t the same as conning, persuading wasn’t the same as lying, and framing wasn’t the same as tricking. Well, at least not when he was doing it.

Now Rhys really did feel like an imposter, conning his friends, employees, and lover into believing in him when he had absolutely no proof of concept. And once the baby arrived, it was only going to get more obvious.

* * *

 

“The final survey results are on your desk,” Yvette said as he walked by.

“Thanks, Yvette.” Rhys stepped into his office, only to backpedal back to the front desk. “Wait a minute. What survey? I didn’t ask for a survey. Did I?”

When Atlas was functional enough to have more than one or two employees, Rhys immediately took Yvette on as COO. She knew what she was doing, and he trusted her to have his back. Well, more than everyone else who crawled out of the Helios ruins.

But as with any company slowly rising from the dead, Yvette took on a lot more than her role technically accounted for. Rather than getting her own office, she ‘redistributed’ the secretary so she could sit right outside of Rhys’ office, controlling who got access to him. She knew everything that went on at the company, tracked where each cent of measly revenue went.

Sometimes, it felt like Yvette knew what was going on in the company more than Rhys did. This was definitely one of those times.

Yvette finished typing before answering him. “You didn’t ask for it, I ordered it for you. It’s the company’s feedback on Loader Bot as a baby name. It got around that you were thinking about it, so I put together a formal company survey. We got almost a 100% response rate. I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

Four to five dozen people worked for Atlas, and they all wanted to weigh in on the name of Rhys’ kid? Great. As if Rhys needed more unsolicited opinions to parse through. Or the reminder that everyone was watching him, analyzing his decisions, and waiting for him to screw up.

Rhys reached for the door again, only to pause for a second time. While he didn’t relish the idea of reading the damn survey, Rhys was curious about what Yvette thought. She never talked about his impending fatherhood, which was weird considering how obsessed everyone he had ever met was with the subject. Maybe it was because he was her boss now, and she didn’t want to cross any professional boundaries. He had to set her straight, reopen lines of communication.

“Yvette, what do you think?” Rhys asked. “About the whole baby name thing?”

Her answer was crisp, succinct. “I don’t like it.” Yvette returned to her computer without another word.

Rhys didn’t get to where he was today by letting shit go. “Okay, why not? I don’t wanna put you on the spot, but everyone else is just so eager to explain why--”

“Because if you name the baby after Loader Bot,” Yvette said, finally meeting Rhy’s eyes, “You will never leave this planet.”

The way she spoke made it sound like a death sentence. In most cases, being stranded on Pandora was a death sentence, but Rhys was trying to turn it into something more. Something worthwhile.

Had Yvette been talking to Sasha, too? He knew how much Sasha wanted to get off-world, and how big of a wrench the baby threw in those plans. That he indirectly trapped her on a planet she hated. Was that what this was about? Because if Yvette thought Rhys had forgotten, or the guilt didn’t gnaw at him daily, she had another thing coming.

Rhys forced a laugh to cover just how defensive he felt. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“On every other planet, even the outer rim, a Loader Bot is an industrial tool you use to move big things around efficiently. Turning that into a baby name is like naming your kid Mop or Trash Compactor.”

Rhys nodded; she wasn’t entirely wrong. Yet. “So? Why does that mean I’d never leave?”

“Because Pandora is the only place this idea makes even a lick of sense,” Yvette spoke with a steady, but fiery voice. “The fact that you like it so much means that you’re more at home here than you want to admit. And thus, you’re never gonna leave.”

Rhys balked. Didn’t Yvette understand that Atlas was in a very fragile place right now and just didn’t have the resources to move off-planet? Didn’t she know that the skulls of infant children were too soft and malleable to handle the pressure change of launching into space? Or that pregnant women weren’t supposed to go into space either after their first trimester? It wasn’t like Rhys had lost his senses and _wanted_ to raise a family on Pandora. Things just worked out that way.

He was doing his best with what little he had. Didn’t Yvette see that? Didn’t that _mean_ something?

“That’s not true,” Rhys said. He was speaking loudly now, almost to the point of shouting. “We’re gonna leave, someday. We just have to wait a little longer. Sasha--she--we’ve talked about this. By the time Atlas is profitable, and the baby is like two or three--”

“Yeah, right, Baby Fucking Loader Bot.” Yvette stiffened, perhaps realizing the venom of her words. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I just--” Sighing, she rested her elbows on her desk and massaged her temples. Collected once more, she opened her eyes. “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but I really am happy for you. I just...I miss how things used to be sometimes. I miss Helios and Hyperion. Looking at you just reminds me how far away all of that is now. And how long it’s gonna be before our lives are _normal_ again.”

For the first time since he hired her, Rhys took a true look at Yvette. Her undercut and cornrows were neat, but not as impeccable as they once were. The color of her outfit had faded, despite daily runs through the Quick Change. Even her skin, once smooth and free of blemish, looked dry and haggard. Pandora might be Rhys’ opportunity, but it was Yvette’s hell.

He had done this. It was Rhys’ fault Helios fell, and though he tried to make things right by hiring as many ex-Hyperion employees as he could, it still wasn’t enough. The way things were going, it might never be enough.

Rhys thanked Yvette for being honest and retreated into his office. He had to promote Yvette and give her a remote position the literal second it was feasible for Atlas to do so. Maybe she could be the first Atlas employee start a new office on Eden Five. And then he would buy a penthouse for Sasha and the baby. With a hot tub. And a robot nanny.

Guilt weighing heavily on his mind, Rhys began to scrutinize the survey Yvette prepared on his desk.

* * *

 

Rhys had a lot of dreams about Atlas, Sasha, and the giant skag that chased him around an arena that one time. Those were the good dreams.

The ones with Jack? Those were the bad ones.

“This is what you get for not listening to your old buddy Jack and shacking up with bandits. A Pandoran-born brat with a robot name.”

The trouble with dreams is that they felt real when you experienced them. Even if a part of Rhys was dimly aware that Handsome Jack was dead, the AI copy destroyed, and his real office chair wasn’t a gilded throne on wheels, he was powerless to voice those facts or act on them. Rhys could do nothing but sit there on his sad, glittering throne, spinning slowly as Jack tormented him.

Even in dreams, Jack appeared as an ethereal AI projection. “Tell me, Rhys. How did this happen?” The ghost lay spread eagle on the ceiling, directly above Rhys’ desk. “Don’t they still have condoms on Pandora, kiddo?”

“They do,” Rhys said. He lowered his head in shame. “I bought one, but it was just a hollowed out hotdog so I--I threw it away.”

Jack clicked his tongue. “Been there. Felt gross at first, but I came around. Ha! See what I did there? Anyway, you’re going to wish you put it on when that baby comes out, screaming and pooping all over everything you love.”

When Rhys didn’t answer, Jack began to float down towards him, a feral grin growing across his features.

“You know what? I couldn’t have thought of a better punishment for you. Wives, kids, companies, I’ve had all of those. And they all turned on me, one after another. It killed me, but did it break me? Nah, because I never had a heart to break in the first place. But you, Rhys?” Jack threw his head backward with a demented cackle. “Oh cupcake, it’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna tear your widdle softie heart into tiny whiny pieces. It’ll break them, too. Your life is about to become a rollercoaster of misery and I can’t. Fucking. Wait.”

Rhys tried to leap out of his seat, but found himself restrained by the wrists and chest. It struck him that he wasn’t in his Atlas office at all--this was Hyperion. He was back in Jack’s old office, strapped to his chair, too paralyzed by fear to move or scream. He was at Jack’s complete mercy.

Jack descended on Rhys in a rush, a shadowy night-ghast unhinging its jaw to consume him whole.

Rhys shuddered awake with a sharp cry. His hair was plastered on his forehead from sweat, and his head pounded over his left temple. Panting in the darkness, he grasped at his chest in an attempt to still his panicked heartbeat.

“Rhys?” Beside him, Sasha sat up sleepily. Her hair, normally tucked in a headband, stood straight up on one side. “What the hell was that? Is something wrong?”

Rhys didn’t want to worry Sasha over something as dumb as a dream, so he told her something even dumber. “Does, uh...the phrase ‘hotdog condom’ mean anything to you?”

Sasha wrinkled her nose. “I thought I told you to stop talking dirty to me. Kidding, kidding. Never heard of it, but it sounds gross.” She brushed her knuckles on his arm. “Tell me what’s wrong in the morning, okay?”

He nodded, though he had already resolved to do no such thing.

As Sasha turned back over, Rhys snaked his arm around her waist to pull himself closer to her. Usually he was the little spoon, but tonight he just wanted to bury his face in her neck and remind himself that with every horrible thing that had happened to him, at least three good things happened too. Not that he deserved any of it. Not that he really knew how to keep them close, aside from literally grabbing hold and never letting go.

“We’re spooning now,” Rhys whispered in her ear. He inhaled her scent, warmth spreading across his cheeks. “Just so you know.”

“Thanks for the heads up. Isn’t your arm going to fall asleep trapped beneath my fat, pregnant body?”

“Your beautiful, fat, pregnant body. And no, it’s the metal one.”

“Damn, that thing’s useful for all kinds of stuff.”

“It opens jars, too.”

Sasha rested her head back on her pillow with a content sigh. “No, it doesn’t.”

“No...” Rhys felt sleep creeping upon him once more, only this time old ghosts wouldn’t be waiting for him. “I’ll just...hire someone to open those...we don’t even have that many jars.”

* * *

 

Sasha, now 35 weeks pregnant, stood on the counter on her tiptoes, reaching onto the highest shelf of the kitchen cabinet. When he saw her, Rhys froze in the doorway, stunned and horrified. She had been put on bed rest at their Hollow Point home. By definition, she was supposed to be _resting--_ in bed! Not climbing onto counters like a heavily pregnant spiderant.

Rhys moved slowly, fearful that any sudden noise might cause Sasha to lose her footing. He picked up a chair tucked beneath the kitchen table and placed it beside the counter.

“Sasha...please...step onto the chair...very carefully now.”

Though Sasha didn’t turn, he could basically hear her rolling her eyes. “I’m pregnant, not paralyzed. I’ll get down when I’m done.”

“Do you know what bed rest means?” Rhys asked, his voice rising half an octave. Sasha shifted her weight between the balls of her feet, and Rhys started gnawing on his fingernails. “I can’t watch this. I’m getting your sister.”

“She helped me get up here.”

It was only at that moment that Rhys realized Fiona was already in the room, sitting at the kitchen table, picking her teeth with a rusty-looking knife and looking through an indistinct stack of papers. She was unbelievably nonplussed by the entire situation.

Fiona shrugged in Rhys’ direction. “Relax, an adult is here to supervise,” she said. “Go ahead untwist your tighty whities.”

“You never thought to, I dunno, just get what Sasha needed from the cabinet yourself and then give it to her?”

“Nah. Too busy. Also, did you read all this?” Fiona picked up one piece of paper. “76% of Atlas employees ‘strongly disagree’ that Loader Bot is a good baby name. 12% simply ‘disagree,’ 10% ‘don’t care,’ and only 2% picked ‘agree.’ Huh, it’s almost like the idea is universally dumb or something.”

 _Shit._ Fiona had gotten a hold of the company survey Yvette had commissioned several weeks back. Rhys had brought it home for Sasha to look over, being confined to her bed with nothing to do all day but read. That was before Sasha abandoned her bed rest to do, well, whatever it was she was doing.

“Read the nickname suggestions,” Sasha said over her shoulder. “I liked that part.”

“Load. Loader. Bot. LB. Lodey, Loads, Botty, Botter, Lotus--that one’s a reach--Lud, Luddy, Bud, Buddy, aaaaaand Loady McBotface.” Fiona looked up from the survey at her sister. “Any of those strike your fancy, Sash?”

“I dunno. I kind of like the initials. Anyway, Fi, I found it!”

The next ten minutes were spent orchestrating Sasha’s descent from the kitchen counter. When she was safely on the ground, Sasha held up her prize--a ratty notebook with yellowed pages and a frayed purple cover.

“This was my childhood dream journal,” she declared.

Rhys couldn’t help himself from chuckling. “Seriously? You never struck me as the sensitive, introspective dream journal type.”

“Oh, it’s not one of those things where you write down what you dreamt about last night. It’s much more than that.” She opened it up and began to flip through its pages. “When I was a kid and it was just me and Fi, I’d doodle in this all the time. It was a place to record all the stuff I wanted, so when we had money again I could remember to get them. Felix made me get rid of it. He said it was never a good idea to keep all of your hopes and dreams in an object someone else could just steal from you. I couldn’t bring myself to destroy it, so I just hid it in the cupboard. I can’t believe it was still there, to be honest.”

Sasha spoke with a casual matter-of-factness that made Rhys’ gut twist. Her life had been so hard, but she was so used to being a have-not that she didn’t even realize how messed up it was. It was a good thing Felix wasn’t around anymore, because Rhys kind of wanted to punch the guy who made Sasha throw away her dream journal--and with his metal fist, too.

At Rhys’ insistence, Sasha was waddled back to the bedroom so she could look through the journal _and_ resume her bed rest. He and Fiona sat on each side of Sasha, watching as she flipped through her journal.

The doodles themselves were crude, but the yearning and sadness behind them was palpable on each page. One drawing was devoted to all the candy young Sasha had wanted to eat. Another depicted Sasha riding a horse-like creature, jumping over mountains and canyons. There were many, many pages devoted to designing Sasha’ perfect house, each iteration more elaborate than the next. Young Sasha really wanted a normal life--a safe place to live, good food to eat, and a mythical beast to ride--more than anything in the world.

They were about halfway through the journal when the guns started showing up. Some things never changed.

Sasha turned a page, revealing a doodle of a two figures holding hands, with a small figure right beside them. Rhys’ heart soared when he realized what it was--a picture of an adult Sasha with her very own family. _Their_ family.

“Oooo, is this your dream husband?” Rhys said, pointing to the taller figure. He was trying and failing to hide a huge grin. “Look how tall he is, and barrel-chested. I see now why you’re so into me, I’ve been your perfect guy since age nine.”

Sasha bit her lip. “Um, that’s actually Fiona. We--the height difference between us used to be way more extreme. And, well, I honestly don’t remember a time she didn’t already have huge tits. I just don’t.”

Fiona agreed with a sage nod. “She’s right. It’s my cross to bear in life.”

“Yeah, I see it now,” Rhys said, deflating a little. It was little too good to be true, secretly being Sasha’s dream husband all this time.

A whiny part of Rhys wanted to suggest that they draw him into the picture, so he could be a part of Sasha’s dream family, too. Except the journal was a relic from Sasha’s past, her dreams as they existed years ago, and it wouldn’t make sense to retroactively add him in it. Even if it stung that Sasha had apparently never thought of having a partner in her dream family.

Sasha touched the doodle, her forehead creasing with conviction. “Our baby is never gonna need a journal like this,” she said. “Or at least it won’t have _this_ stuff in it. Because it will already have plenty of clothes, and a nice house, and a big family. Won’t it?”

Both Rhys and Fiona agreed that yes, the baby was going to have a perfect normal life with a perfect normal house, though all three of them knew it wouldn’t be so easy. He wondered if the sisters had any idea how unprepared he was for this. The weight of Sasha’s childhood hopes and dreams were resting on his ability to not fuck up their lives, and he didn’t even know how to hold a gun. Who was he kidding?

Long after the dream journal had been put away, he couldn’t stop thinking of that picture. The perfect family, smiling and happy, without him.

* * *

 

He got up in the middle of the night after pretending to be asleep for at least three hours. Sasha’s new pain meds made her sleep like a rock, so Rhys didn’t have to worry about waking her. Part of him wished she would.

Rhys had spent those hours in the dark coming to terms with the fact that he was a bad person, or at least the _wrong_ person. For Atlas, for Sasha, for the baby. This certainty that he was _wrong, wrong, wrong,_ was the only thing stronger and louder than his intense self loathing over what he was about to do.

Hollow Point was quiet at this time of night. He could hear only raks cawing in the far distance and the wind blowing upon the top layer of desert sand as he snuck out of the house. So far, so good. The desert buggy was parked on the corner. If it was gassed up, he’d be at the biodome before morning. If not, well, he’d start walking.

Rhys had just placed his bag in the backseat when he felt a presence looming behind him.

“Where are you going.”

He spun around, and came face to face with Loader Bot, a gaunt scarecrow emerging from the dark.

Rhys stifled a startled gasp. “Loader Bot, jeez. You scared the shit out of me.”

Loader Bot cocked his head. “Where are you going,” he repeated. It wasn’t a question.

“Out,” Rhys said with a shrug. “Why are _you_ here, sneaking around? What you’re doing is way more suspicious than what I’m doing.”

“Why are you leaving.”

“You answer my question first!”

“Does Sasha know.”

“What? She’s asleep, so--”

Loader Bot turned sharply in the direction of Sasha and Rhys’ home. “I will wake her up.”

 _“Don’t!”_ Rhys grasped Loader Bot’s wrist. The robot stared at him, looked down at his arm, and then stared at him again. “Okay, so I’m not strong enough to actually stop you,” Rhys said. “But please. Don’t.”

Loader Bot said nothing. He justed looked down at Rhys, judgement and questions oozing out of his large red eye. Rhys dropped his hand and squirmed under the scrutiny.

“Okay, I’m not leaving,” Rhys whispered. “I’m...preemptively removing myself from this situation.” He gestured vaguely in the direction of the house, where Sasha still slept.

“You have decided to become a deadbeat father before your child’s birth without so much as a goodbye to the woman you love,” Loader Bot stated.

Rhys winced. “I’m...I’m framing this as investing in their future by not being in it?”

“That isn’t the truth.”

Rhys had forgotten exactly how hung up Loader Bot was on the truth. Like, so hung up that he’d dress up as a human, stalk all of their friends, tie them up with duct tape, and drag them across the planet just to get it. It was something Rhys really liked about Loader Bot--that faithfulness, that determination. The refusal to give up because he loved his friends so damned much.

He would be an awesome role model, for the baby. Maybe not a cuddly one, but that’s what Vaughn was for. Whatever Fiona, Yvette, and the entire Atlas office thought, Loader Bot was one helluva namesake.

Rhys leaned against the buggy and scratched the back of his neck. “Okay, the truth is…” He took a deep breath and exhaled. “This is the first time in my life I actually care about something. I mean, I’ve always cared a little, but I didn’t _care care,_ you know?”

Loader Bot’s large red eye stared at him, expressionless. God, it was hard having a conversation with this guy sometimes.

Rhys tried to reframe his point. “For instance, when I decided to go to Pandora to screw over Vasquez, I didn’t really think about the potential for it go wrong or even the possibility that I might die. Like, I knew it was dangerous, abstractly, but it didn’t really matter to me. I just assumed everything would work out, because I was arrogant and assumed I’d get off scotch free, because I was an asshole with an agenda, because I _didn’t care_! Taking risks isn’t that hard when you aren’t actually invested in the outcome of your own scheme.

“But all this!?” Rhys gestured towards the house, Sasha, the baby, and all the fantasies and nightmares wrapped up in them. “I care. A lot. And it scares the shit out of me. I know myself. I know I’m a bad person who doesn’t deserve a single thing he’s got, and who isn’t qualified to have them either. I’m going to ruin this, somehow. So in the interest of sparing Sasha, the baby, and everyone else from the inevitable, I’ve decided that _preemptive removal--”_

“Running away,” Loader Bot supplied.

“--is the best option. I know, Sasha--I--she doesn’t actually need me around, none of them do.”

Loader Bot’s skeletal body stiffened all at once, and Rhys flinched, ready to get his nose broken in an instant. But no punch came. Loader Bot stood rooted to the ground, almost trembling. “No one needs anyone,” Loader Bot said. “I didn’t track you down to revive Gortys because I needed to. I didn’t do it because I was programmed to. I did it because I wanted to. Because I cared.” The robot paused. “Because I _learned_ to care.”

Rhys nodded. He had learned to care, too. Maybe that was why he was so bad at it, because most people spent their whole lives giving sincere fucks and he had only just started a couple years ago. When exactly did this change? Certainly after Rhys had ordered Loader Bot to self destruct, but before Helios tumbled out of the sky. Weird how a single throwaway decision Rhys made twenty minutes after landing on Pandora still followed him after all this time.

He could feel himself being persuaded, his heart tugging him back into the house and by Sasha’s side, where he should be. But doubt had its claws in him, and Rhys hadn’t quite shaken them free. “But--I--what if I ruin all of our lives? I am my own weakest link, how am I supposed to--”

“You look to your friends.” For someone who spoke mostly in monotone, Loader Bot sounded disgruntled that Rhys had forgotten something so fundamental.

Rhys turned to the buggy and placed his hand on his duffle bag. He waited there for a moment, weighing the heartache of leaving against the heartache of failure, before lifting the bag from the seat and slipping the strap back against his shoulder.

“I’m a bad person,” Rhys said to Loader Bot.

“Yes.”

“But I can be a better one.”

“Yes.”

“You’d be an awesome dad,” Rhys blurted. “Is--is that weird? Like a really wise, tough robot dad. Or an uncle.”

Loader Bot scratched the top of his red eye, a gesture Rhys knew he was only doing because he saw humans use it to show they were confused. And then he gave Rhys a thumbs down. There was a lot Loader Bot still had to learn about body language.

He returned to the house, slipped off his shoes, and crawled back into bed fully clothed. Once again, Sasha did not stir. He’d come clean to Sasha about his near-escape, his fear, everything, in the morning.

* * *

 

Rhys tried not to dwell on the fact that Dr. Zed, the so-called best doctor on Pandora, didn’t have a medical license anymore. Or that he brought a buzzsaw with him into the delivery room. He really, _really_ tried not to think about that one.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Babies weren’t supposed to be born at 36 weeks. They were supposed to have another month to prepare. He-- _they_ weren’t ready. There was so much left to do!

Dr. Zed greeted them outside the clinic wearing an apron covered in bloodstains. He assured Sasha, wincing from contractions in a wheelchair, that it was actually all of his blood, not his patients. No doctor worth his salt got a patient’s blood on his apron--unless it was gallstones or giving birth. What a minute, wasn’t he scheduled for a birth just now?

Zed laughed at his own joke and motioned for Rhys to wheel Sasha into the delivery room. Before handing her over, Rhys kneeled by her side and held her hand.

“If something goes wrong in there, I’m definitely going to avenge you,” Rhys whispered to her.

Sasha squeezed his hand. “I’ve decided that I like it.”

“Huh?”

“Loader Bot. The name. Fuck it, let’s do it. But only if we use a nickname.”

Rhys nodded furiously. “Of course, whatever you want.” He didn’t even remember what the nickname choices were. That was something they could figure out later.

“You’ll be with me, right?” Sasha asked. “The whole time? Even when it starts getting gross? Fiona’s getting you a bucket.” She didn’t need to explain what the bucket might be for.

Rhys studied her face, glistening with sweat and screwed up with pain, and then he planted a long, wet kiss on her lips. “I’m not going anywhere. And please, it’s impossible for you to gross me out. I have a stomach of iron, or--or at least aluminum.”

Fiona appeared in the doorway, looking panicked and out of breath. She held a small plastic bucket over her head, and Rhys mouthed a silent ‘Thank you,’ before taking it from her and tucking it under his arm.

“A buttload of people are waiting back home,” Fiona said. “Vault hunters, Atlas goons, robots, _everyone._ We’re taking bets on names. No, don’t tell me--I’ve got $50 on this.” She placed her hand on Sasha’s shoulders. “Win me some money, Sasha.”

Sasha inhaled sharply and winced. “When do I get stabbed in the spine until I stop feeling things?” As if sensing that his sketchy medical skilled were now required, Zed swooped in to take control of her wheelchair and scoot her into the delivery room. Fiona followed them.

Rhys stood at the threshold, his mind scared witless and thrumming with excitement all at the same time. The room was brightly lit enough to blind, and the smell of iron and antiseptics washed over him, yet he didn’t feel queasy.

This was it. The start of something amazing. And since that day Rhys first floated the idea of naming the baby after Loader Bot, he finally felt ready for it.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started as a funny "What if everyone in the Borderlands verse bothered Rhys about what they thought his kid should be named" fic, but then this angsty narrative starting coming out of it as I thought about Rhys' self-doubt and I changed the fic's entire direction. I think the final product ended up like a Frankenstein fic with two different tones in it, and I could've synthesized these ideas better. But I also wanted to get this out in the world so my mind can move on, soooo *shrug*.
> 
> This fic ties to my first Rhysha fic, "Strong and Wise and You Are Love," which gives us a glimpse into Rhys and Sasha's post-pregnancy life (as well as August's take on the whole baby thing).
> 
> Since the fic changed direction, I had to cut some cameos. Here are the ones I thought about including:
> 
> -Zer0 meeting Rhys and telling him something that makes him feel better about being a dad (scrapped because I can't write haikous arghhhh)  
> -Felix sending Rhys anonymous letters in an attempt to dissuade him from naming a baby after Loader Bot  
> -Cassius and Shade were to be included, but I couldn't actually think of a vignette for them that was funny or relevant soooo *shrug*
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this silly fic of mine. Thank you!


End file.
